Coparenting Child First Model – Moving forward after divorce is difficult for everyone, and trying to figure out how to co-parent complicates things even further. Here are some tips to help you co-parent.
Put Your Child First
Coparenting Child First Model is an absolute necessity for successful co-parenting. Always consider the wants and needs of your children before your own.
Putting your child first doesn’t mean that you stop taking care of yourself. Your child deserves a parents that are happy and healthy. Self-care is vital, so be sure to rest, eat healthy, exercise and make time in your schedule for yourself when your child is with their other parent.
The Golden Rule of Co-Parenting – Communication
The best co-parenting relationships have open communication between both parents. To practice the golden rule of coparenting, both parents agree to have open dialogue with one another. Both parents agree to not place the child in the middle of conflict. It is important to put the needs of the child first.
As parents, keep one another informed of things that come up during your parenting time. Share photos, videos, and encourage your child to call the other parent. Keep a consistent schedule between both homes and support your child by providing opportunities for enrichment and social growth.
If you are having difficulty communicating with the other parent, try contacting them by phone, text, or email. There are also Co-Parenting Apps that you can use to help monitor communication between parents. Examples are listed below as of 4/6/2020.
- Our Family Wizard (from $99 per parent per year)
- Co Parenter ($119.99 per parent per year)
- Co Parently ($99 per parent per year)
- Truece (Free – $99 per parent per year)
- App Close (Free)
- 2Houses ($149.88 per family per year)
When practicing Coparenting Child First, children need structure to feel safe, secure and loved. Therefore, it is important for both parents to present a united front for the sake of your child. It is also helpful if parents can work together to keep schedules as similar as possible between the homes (sleep, dinner, electronics, etc). The familiarity and routine will help your child feel supported, loved, and cared for by both parents.
Even with the best of intentions, things will not be as perfect as we would like. If your ex lets your kids eat sweets or stay up late, you must learn to accept the different ways your homes are run. If you let go of control, you will place less anxiety on your children, and relieve yourself of the stress of trying to control something is not within your control.
Respect Each Other
Regardless of what happened in your personal relationship with your ex-spouse, you have a child together and will continue to be parents to your child. To that end, you must respect your ex for the sake of your child. Focus on positives, do not speak negatively about the other parent around your child.
Although your relationship with your ex did not work out, your relationship as co-parents of your child is forever. Let your child experience the love from both parents without feeling like they have to choose a parent. A stable home and positive role models will help ensure your child grows up to be a happy, productive, and well adjusted adult.
If you need help learning how to Co-Parent in a healthy way please feel free to contact our office today at 386-449-8600. Our office offers Co-Parenting, Reunification Counseling, Parenting Coordination, and Family Therapy.